Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
