so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
