apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
