We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
