I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
