i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
