I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
