Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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