She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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