# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
