We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just saw a hot homeless man
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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