I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
