Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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