I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
