Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
