matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
