yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
