Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
