trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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