remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
My feet surprised me
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