I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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