I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
