No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Are we still banned from the library?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
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