Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
