i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize