How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
