if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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