Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
