im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Michael Bay diarrhea
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
