i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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