Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Boobs speak an international language.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
