whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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