And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
and you fell through a lawn chair
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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