it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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