i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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