I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
