OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
