you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
