just tell him i said nine months
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
