Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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