Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
