ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
