What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
