she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
