Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
