we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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