I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I can't turn off my feet"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
