absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
