They have a pepper shaker for pot.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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