Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
