And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize