help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
