Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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