Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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