There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
