Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
