Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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