I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
